COMMENTARY:

Coaching Condi on Testifying before the 911 Commission

Coaching Condi: Rules for testifying

Sandbagging 101: Take as long as you possibly can to answer each question. While the Republicans on the commission will cake-walk you through the hearing, the Democrats will actually ask some tough questions. They'll have a time limit, so if you give excess background, pause to smile, banter with each of the commissioners, you'll be able to cut their opportunity so they can only ask a few questions. If you do your job right, they'll accuse you of filibustering.

Self Righteous Interruption: Our Fundamentalist Christian Supporters have fine-tuned this art. Politely, but self righteously insist on the courtesy to allow you to finish your thought... then start another one, especially if it seems that the questioning commissioner is starting to ask a new question.

Beating around the Bush: Don't answer the questions they pose. Re-frame them in your own terms. Throw in peripheral "background" to preface your answers and to re-focus them away from the issues.

Don't talk about Clarke: We've already done our Shock and Awe damage to him--and remember, you are under oath. George might just curl into a fetal position if he didn't have you to explain the news. Besides, we don't want to give Clarke any more air time than he's already received.

Smile Pretty: Soften Your Image. Get rid of that frown on your forehead. You have an 11 embossed there. Pretend you are sweet and gentle. We know you have more testosterone than Cheney or Rumsfeld, but hide it. We want you to represent us as compassionate, since that part of our image needs some dusting off. But avoid perky--there are 911 widows present and they don't like perkiness when discussing defense. Trust the Paxil. Your serotonin level will be finely tuned by then. Bottom line, if you can't get rid of those 11s soon, we're going to have to hit them with Botox.

Blame the CIA: Tenet has already fallen on the sword for our Uranium screw-up. We've already invested a fortune in spin-time and Drudge, Fox, Limbaugh and the other ditto-heads backing it up. Use it. Blame Tenet and then get academic, go into smoke-and-fog, blaming it on "Structural problems." That'll kill more time and satisfy about 80 percent of our core supporters.