Newspaper logo  
 
 
Local Stories, Events

Ref. : Civic Events

Ref. : Arts & Education Events

Ref. : Public Service Notices

Books, Films, Arts & Education
Letters

Ref. : Letters to the editor

Health Care & Environment

02.22 Report: Climate Denier to Lead White House Climate Panel [“Stupid is as stupid does.” –Forrest Gump]

02.22 The Uninhabitable Earth [Lots more important than all other problems put together]

02.22 Europe faces 'biodiversity oblivion' after collapse in French birds, experts warn

02.22 World's food supply under 'severe threat' from loss of biodiversity

02.22 Venezuela crisis threatens disease epidemic across continent - experts

02.21 'Moment of reckoning': US cities burn recyclables after China bans imports

02.20 Young climate strikers can win their fight. We must all help

02.20 Voyage to the Garbage Patch: the female sailors taking on plastic

02.19 Bees brought Bavarians together. And they have a lesson for us all

02.19 Florida is drowning. Condos are still being built. Can't humans see the writing on the wall? [Fear that Trump & Fox News incite makes us avoid unpleasant information we need to know]

02.18 Tesla big battery is holding its own in a burgeoning energy storage market

02.18 Trump administration condemned over delaying action on toxic drinking water

02.16 New experimental drug rapidly repairs age-related memory loss and improves mood

02.16 Toxic black snow covers Siberian coalmining region [0:49 video; If its killing us, stop doing it]

02.16 Renewable energy will be world's main power source by 2040, says BP [But in America's capitalistic bubble, bribed-to-be-biased media and government defy reality]

02.16 My generation trashed the planet. So I salute the children striking back

02.16 US coastal businesses hit by everyday impact of climate change, study shows

02.16 What the pesticides in our urine tell us about organic food [What does inaction tell us about capitalism and our government?]

02.14 Exposure to Glyphosate-Based Herbicides and Risk for Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma: A Meta-Analysis and Supporting Evidence [If its killing us, make it illegal]

02.14 To avoid environmental catastrophe, everything must change [Consider why this headline is laughable or confusing to many, if not most, Americans...]02.13 Study Shows Toxic Pesticide Levels in Families Dropped by 60% After One-Week Organic Diet [2:10 video; Produce and canned vegetables laced with toxic chemicals—from fertilizers and herbicides, too—must be quickly phased out to use safe organic alternatives]

02.12 Biggest offshore windfarm to start UK supply this week

02.12 Scientists Are Totally Rethinking Animal Cognition

02.12 Politicians are complicit in the killing of our insects – we will be next

News Media Matters

Daily: FAIR Blog
The Daily Howler

US Politics, Policy & 'Culture'

02.22 So How's Your Tax Refund? Thanks to GOP Tax Scam, Big Banks Made Extra $28 Billion Last Year

02.21 Why Bernie Sanders Matters More Than People Think

02.21 Bezos Says Amazon Drones Ready to Deliver Mueller Report to Every American Household

02.21 Devin Nunes Was Trump’s Mole Inside the Gang of Eight

02.21 Alec Baldwin fears for family's safety after Trump 'retribution' threats [0:40 video]

02.20 Intimidation, Pressure and Humiliation: Inside Trump’s Two-Year War on the Investigations Encircling Him

02.20 ‘Sustained and ongoing’ disinformation assault targets Dem presidential candidates [If you can sense them, block them!]

02.20 The 2020 U.S. Presidential Race: A Cheat Sheet

02.20 Why Bernie Sanders' radicalism can take out Trump

02.20 Why vote for Sanders when you can have Elizabeth Warren instead?

Justice Matters

02.19 California Leads 16 States Suing to Block Trump Border Plan

02.19 Fighting pollution: Toledo residents want personhood status for Lake Erie [Hurrah!]

High Crimes?

02.20 Despite the slaughter in Yemen, Britain is still chasing arms sales [and the Great-Again-America is too...Capitalism without morality is horrible]

02.16 Elliott Abrams Defends War Crimes As Happening Back In The ’80s When Everyone Was Doing It

Economics & Corrupting-Capitalism

02.21 Historian who confronted Davos billionaires leaks Tucker Carlson rant

02.20 A Centuries-Old Idea Could Revolutionize Climate Policy

International & Futurism
Sanders Has an Advantage, and It’s Not [Just] About Economics

02.22 When multilateralism crumbles, so does our rules-based order [this enables easier corruption by banks and oligarchs and may result in complete societal breakdown, chaos and war]

02.22 Trump has turned foreign aid into shabby political theatre [Psychopaths are a sub-human species without empathy or morals.]

02.21 John Oliver Compares Brexit ‘Disaster’ to Will Smith’s Genie in Live-Action ‘Aladdin’ (Video) [21:26 video; we’re approaching an Idiocracy-type of society, where stupidity is “normal”]

02.20 House report lays bare White House feud over Saudi nuclear push [Its hard to keep up with all the criminal crap going on...]

02.20 My grandfather was a Nazi. I’ve seen why we need the EU

02.19 Centrism isn’t the solution to the mess we’re in

02.19 Renewables need urgent investment to ease Australia's transmission bottlenecks, experts warn

We are a non-profit Internet-only newspaper publication founded in 1973. Your donation is essential to our survival.

You can also mail a check to:
Baltimore News Network, Inc.
P.O. Box 42581
Baltimore, MD 21284-2581
Google
This site Web
  10 Questions: How Many Democrats Does It Take to...
Newspaper logo

HUMOR?

10 Questions: How Many Democrats Does It Take to...

by Dave Lindorff
Originally published in This Can't Be Happening yesterday, 7 September 2009

Question: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: At least 60. One to find a bulb, one to unscrew the old one, one to find the recycling bin, one to buy a new one, one to borrow the money to pay for it, and 56 more to try and fight off the 40 Republicans who say there’s nothing wrong with the old one.

Question: How may Democrats does it take to kill a good idea?

Answer: One. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who by herself kept resolutions to initiate impeachment hearings against President Bush and Vice President Cheney “off the table,” and who by herself prevented any hearing in the House on Rep. John Conyers’ excellent bill HR 676 (which would have solved the nation’s health care crisis by simply expanding Medicare to cover everyone) from getting a hearing.

Question: How many generals does it take to dig a tunnel?

Answer: Two. One, General Stanley McCrystal, to go to Afghanistan and dig it, and a second, Gen. David Petreaus, to stand up, salute it, promise there will be a light at the other end somewhere, and to tell the President to send more troops to march through it. But it also takes several hundred members of the Democrat-controlled House and Senate to unquestioningly pay for the digging.

Question: How many unemployed people does it take to get the economy moving again?

Answer: Nobody really knows. So far, government planners and business leaders have managed to push 9.5 million Americans out of jobs, and another six million from full-time into part time jobs, but the economy is still tanking, so they’ll have to keep pushing more out of work until they can claim that the recession has “hit bottom.” But even then, nobody knows if the economy will pick up after that, or just stay bottomed out.

Question: How many news organizations does it take to intimidate a Democratic President?

Answer: On the available evidence, one is sufficient to do the trick.

Question: How many Taliban fighters armed with only AK rifles, RPGs and home-made landmines does it take to stalemate or defeat a US-led, airpower-supported, 165,000-man force in Afghanistan?

Answer: According to the New York Times, about 10,000, of whom only about 1000 are “full-time” fighters.

Question: How many workers does it take to form a union at a company?

Answer: By law, one more than half of the members of a workplace, but in practice, after the employer hires a labor-busting law firm, uses all manner of frivolous technicalities to delay an election for years, illegally fires organizers, illegally takes individual workers aside and privately threatens to sack them if they support the union, and illegally questions new hires about their views regarding unions, passing on those who say they support them, probably at least 100% of the workforce.

Question: How many Democrats does it take to pass the Employee Free Choice Act, a labor law reform bill that would make it easier for workers to form a union?

Answer: Twice as many as the number who promised to pass the measure during the 2008 campaign, since half of those Democrats who promise to support labor routinely “change their minds” after winning election.

Question: How many election cycles will labor unions, environmentalists and peace activists keep voting for Democratic politicians only to find their issues betrayed by those they help elect?

Answer: God only knows.

Question: How many Congressional Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: No one knows. When a bulb blows, they just move to a different room and leave it for someone else to fix.


Dave Lindorff in Washington

About the author: Philadelphia journalist Dave Lindorff is a 34-year veteran, an award-winning journalist, a former New York Times contributor, a graduate of the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism, a two-time Journalism Fulbright Scholar, and the co-author, with Barbara Olshansky, of a well-regarded book on impeachment, The Case for Impeachment. His work is available at www.thiscantbehappening.net.



Copyright © 2009 The Baltimore News Network. All rights reserved.

Republication or redistribution of Baltimore Chronicle content is expressly prohibited without their prior written consent.

Baltimore News Network, Inc., sponsor of this web site, is a nonprofit organization and does not make political endorsements. The opinions expressed in stories posted on this web site are the authors' own.

This story was published on September 7, 2009.
 

Public Service Ads: