ON THE SOAPBOX:

What’s ‘Suspicious Behavior’?

What am I supposed to do with this information?

Shall I scream, “Oh, woe is me!” and beat my chest? Keening is always good, I suppose. Or, perhaps, I should go out and buy some duct tape.

No, I know. I’m supposed to report “suspicious behavior”.

Answer me this: What is suspicious behavior?

Perhaps if my neighbor doesn’t go to church on Sundays? Is that suspicious?

Maybe, if my friend has a bumper sticker that says “Dissent is Patriotic,” that is suspicious?

You know what I think might be suspicious? These continuing announcements.

Continually pushing the fear factor on the American people is eating away at the very core of our society. It is changing normally rational people into people who are afraid of their own shadows.

I admit that I was concerned the first time they announced the advanced alert status. Now? My current reaction to their momentous announcements is, basically, who gives a rat’s ass?

Red, yellow, orange, green, blue or purple, the fact is that there are terrorists in the world and they may decide to strike here. If they choose a building I’m in, I’m dead. If they drop a bomb on DC, we’re all dead. On the other hand...

If I cross the street against the light, I’ll probably be mowed down by a truck.

If I am wearing my seatbelt in a high speed crash, I’ll probably be gutted.

If I eat my hot dog too fast, I’ll choke.

So what?

I try to chew slowly. I’m cautious when I cross the street. And, I tolerate wearing my seatbelt—and, should I survive being gutted, I am prepared to call in the ACLU to help me sue the government that made me wear the seatbelt.

I’m tired of being afraid. For the last 20 years, not only government, but commerce has been built on making us afraid of our own decisions. Everywhere there are warnings.

Give an aspirin to a child, you’re risking Reyes Syndrome. Replacement hormones could give you uterine or breast cancer. And, of course, smoking can give you lung cancer; and cell phones, brain cancer; and too much meat, intestinal cancer. And it goes on and on and on.

Basically, what the pundits are saying is that, if you stay locked in your house and never do anything, including eating and drinking, you should be safe.

Well, I’m tired of playing it safe. Life involves risk.

Not manufactured risk, like in bungee jumping; but real risk.

And if you’re not willing to take risks, you’re not living.

So, get off your diet. Take off your helmet. Drink up. Light up. Get laid. For tomorrow, you may die. Or perhaps I will. Who knows?

What I do know is that whether the code is yellow or orange, nothing will change that.