In A Fast-Food Line...

by Jesse Fask
       Number forty-three. Who got number forty-three?”

       I need those double-whoppers, double-whoppers.”

       Okay, I’m a throw it away. It don’t make no difference. Even though it was Charday’s trash.”

       I want some onion rings.”

       Tim, if you think it’ll be quieter over there, take that booth there away from the kids.”

       Can I help the next person in line?”

       Psst! Psst! Put that down! Put it down!”

       Mom, you know this is not a toy. This is not a toy. It’s a hat. A king’s hat. And I am not a baby.”

       Sixty-five. Big whopper with cheese, medium drink.”

       They want Rashid to clean up the horse dung.”

       You’re kidding me.”

       Yeah, John decided to bring the horse over to a brand new kitchen.”

       Number seventy-one.”

       Mom, I saw this show and this man, he ate metal. He ate everything.”

       Finden eine Platz zu sitzen, Theo.”

       Oh, you back again. You love Burger King, don’t you?”

       From now on, no one’s going to be where they wanna be. No more, ‘I wanna be here. I wanna be there.’ That’s not going to happen no more.”

       It’s okay. He won’t arrest you.”

       I like Kathleen Kennedy Townsend. I’d like to know who her speech writers are.”

       One kid’s hamburger meal.”

       We was in biology. And everyone was like, ‘Ooh, aye, I wanna piece of pie’ and everyone was laughin’. The teacher said, ‘Y’all don’t have to do no work today. I don’t feel well’.”

       You got my chicken over there, Tyree. All right, step it up.”

       Now that’s a mighty nice lookin’ mop.”

       No, I live on Greenmount in one of those apartments up there.”

       Girl, you eat too much. I’m the fattest one in the whole house and don’t eat near as much as you.”

       When I broke up with my boyfriend, I was so excited to see what this other broad look like.”

       The fish down in Ocean City are not big. As soon as you catch ’em, you gotta throw’em back.”

       But you love me.”

       I don’t love you. Don’t nobody love you.”

       Two whopper with cheese meals”

       A whopper with cheese and a fry.”

       Double cheeseburger.”

       Whopper with cheese.”

       Need two whoppers with cheese.”

       Double whopper with cheese.”

       I don’t want anything.”

       I want a Coca-Cola.”

       Hey, man. How long has the air bag been out?”

       At least, it’s quiet because Bob’s not here.”

       The zoo, that’s a good place to go for lunch. I tell you another place that’s good for lunch--Clifton Park.”

       Ladies, chicken tenders, what’re we supposed to do?”

       Well, they only play their first-string in the first half. What’re they though--nine and oh, ten and oh in the last three pre-seasons?”

       Hurry up, please! Make me wait and I get mad.”

       Sarah, John took some of your French fries.”

       Nice job, everybody. Nice job. You, too, Maurice. Nice job.”

       Y’all wait to say grace before I get to the table.”

       God is gracious. God is good. Let us thank him for our food. Bow our heads, we all be fed, Give us Lord our daily bread.


Jesse Fask is a writer and youth counselor who lives in Hampden.


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This story was published on August 30, 2000.