Is it possible to fall in love with a person in just a few hours? Renowned social psychologist Arthur Aron has proven that it is, reports IZ. In 1997, he developed a set of 36 questions that help strangers establish a deep emotional connection and even awaken feelings of love. This method is widely used in scientific experiments, as well as in relationships, to strengthen the bond between partners.
Let's consider how these questions work and why they can evoke feelings of intimacy.
How does the 36-question method work?
The questions are divided into three groups, each of which gradually becomes more personal. By answering them, the interlocutors reveal their experiences, fears, values, and dreams. This creates an atmosphere of trust and brings people closer together.
The study showed that after such a conversation, people feel much closer than after a regular social conversation. Moreover, some participants in the experiment even formed couples, and one of them got married.
Full list of 36 questions
Part 1: Initial questions to establish a connection
- If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would you choose?
- Would you like to be famous? In what field?
- Do you ever rehearse what you're going to say before the bell rings? Why?
- What is your perfect day?
- When was the last time you sang for yourself? Or for someone else?
- If you had to live out your life with only one body or one mind at the age of 30, which would you choose?
- Do you have a secret hunch about how you'll die?
- Name three things that you think bring you and your partner together.
- What are you most grateful for in your life?
- If you could change one thing about your upbringing, what would it be?
- Tell a story from your life in two minutes in as much detail as you can.
- If you could wake up tomorrow with a new quality or ability, what would it be?
Part 2: Questions that deepen emotional openness
- If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, or your future, what would you want to know?
- Is there something you have always wanted to do? Why haven't you done it yet?
- What is your greatest achievement in life?
- What is the most valuable thing about friendship for you?
- What is your most precious memory?
- What is your worst memory?
- If you found out that you were going to die unexpectedly in a year, would you change anything in your life? Why?
- What does friendship mean to you?
- What role do love and affection play in your life?
- Name five positive traits in your partner.
- How close and warm is your relationship with your family? Do you feel that your childhood was happier than others?
- How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Part 3: Deep and Personal Questions That Create True Intimacy
- Each of you makes three true statements about the other: “I think we both are…”.
- Finish the sentence: “I wish I had someone I could share with…”.
- If you were to become close friends with your partner, what would you want them to know about you?
- Tell your partner what you like about them. Be very honest and say things that you might not say to a random person.
- Share with your partner a moment when you felt a strong sense of love and tenderness.
- When was the last time you cried in front of another person? And alone?
- Tell your partner something you already like about them.
- What is too serious for you to joke about?
- If you were to die tonight without having anyone to talk to, what would you most regret not saying? Why haven't you done so yet?
- Your house caught fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, there is only one thing you can take out. What would it be and why?
- Whose death has affected you the most? Why?
- Share a personal problem and ask your partner for advice on how they would solve it.
The final stage is eye contact
After answering all the questions, it is recommended to look into each other's eyes silently for four minutes. This helps to establish an even stronger emotional connection.
Do these questions really work?
Scientists have confirmed that these questions help create deep trust and emotional intimacy. While they don't guarantee instant love, they significantly increase the level of trust and involvement between people.
Try this method if you want to get to know your significant other better or get closer to someone new. You might be surprised how deep feelings can run after just one conversation!
While exploring the secrets of emotional intimacy with 36 questions, don't forget to also discover a new gastronomic trend – the beer cocktail with Aperol and orange – a real sensation in the world of mixology!