We all know that relationships are hard as hell, and there is nothing that can improve them overnight. What helps them thrive (or causes them to crumble) is unique to each couple. However, one key thing that separates strong relationships from fragile ones is effective conflict resolution. Take the US President and First Lady for example: In an interview with Harper's Bazaar, Dr. Jill Biden revealed that she and Joe Biden engage in “fexting.” What is sexting?
ContentWhat is fexting?Positive effects of fexting on relationshipsFexting gives each person more time to process their emotionsFexting can help you avoid saying things you might later regretNegative effects of fexting on relationshipsLack of tone and body language can make it difficult to understand each otherFexting can lead to misunderstandingsAlternative ways to resolve conflicts in your relationship Set aside a specific time to discuss problems Try therapy
In simple words, this is when quarrels are resolved through messages. Jill and Joe do this so that the Secret Service does not find out about their conflicts. But why should we do this? WomanEL will tell you what the advantages are for ordinary couples.
What is fexting?
Believe it or not, sexting has been around as long as texting, so it's not a new concept at all. Many people, including the aforementioned US President and First Lady, use it – intentionally in their case, or unintentionally – for controversy.
When done correctly, sexting can be beneficial for both single people and couples, but keep in mind that it also has its downsides. Whether this will work as well for you as it does for the Bidens (who have been married for 47 years!) remains to be seen, so consider the pros and cons below before trying it for yourself.
The positive impact of sexting on relationships
Fexting gives each person more time to process their emotions
One of the main benefits of sexting is that you have much more time to think about what was said and how you felt. Since there is no need to react immediately, as is usually the case in a face-to-face meeting or even over the phone, each person can consider their own feelings and the feelings/point of view of the other person. This can lead to more effective and honest communication in many types of conflicts.
Fexting will help you avoid saying things you might regret later
Sometimes an argument can become so heated that we become tense and defensive. When this happens, it can be difficult to slow down and really think about what we are saying to the other person. In a text message, you need to physically type out what you want to say. And you have the opportunity to view it and delete it.
The negative impact of sexting on relationships
Lack of tone and body language can make it difficult to understand each other
Body language, facial expressions and tone of voice are three things that play a huge role in communication and we cannot rely on them at all when sending text messages. We can't tell if something was said with good intentions or not because we can't hear the tone of voice, and similarly we can't tell if someone is really upset or angry because we can't see them faces. This can lead to more hurtful and unpleasant words, although of course we don't want that to happen if we care about someone.
Fexting can lead to misunderstandings
We can try to be as careful and clear as possible when writing messages. But at the end of the day, misunderstanding the text is something we all do. In a face-to-face conversation, we can more clearly articulate what we are saying and are more likely to ask clarifying questions if we don't understand what someone means.
Alternative ways to resolve conflicts in your relationship
Dedicate a specific time to discuss issues
Instead of sending your partner a text message in the middle of the day that will catch them off guard, suggest a time to talk. The dreaded “we need to talk” text is unnerving and stressful for anyone who sends or receives it. But taking time to talk about what's going on will help both of you focus on each other fully.
Try Therapy
If you and your partner, family member, or close friend have tried several self-resolution and conflict prevention techniques, including sexting, and you're still struggling to understand each other, try therapy—either individually or together. Talking to a licensed professional can help each person learn new communication skills, see different points of view, practice new problem-solving tools, and learn how to argue well.
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