No matter how old you are, some parents will still try to raise you. For a healthy relationship, you should learn to set adult boundaries, says WomanEL.
ContentOffer a compromise Don't let anyone pressure you about anything Get rid of unwanted advice and gossip about family members Set clear boundaries and stand your ground Be grateful
According to Huffpost, the main reason for difficulties in the relationship between parents and children is the difference in thinking and approaches to life, which leads to conflicts. They may give advice that you didn’t ask for, change something in your home every time they come to visit, obsessively recommend what to eat, etc.
Setting boundaries with parents as an adult is not always easy. But it may be necessary for your own well-being and the health of your relationship. According to psychologists, you need to openly talk with your parents and determine that circumstances have changed.
Offer a compromise
When your parents become too involved in your life, setting your boundaries can be a gentle reminder to that you will make your choice. In some cases, a compromise may be offered.
Discussing the details you're willing to share can help your parents feel included in your life without overstepping boundaries. If you don't know what to offer, ask what they need.
Don't let yourself be pressured into anything
When a child becomes an adult and begins to make his own choices, the expression “but we've always done it that way” no longer applies . Each adult has his own life, so you need to take this into account.
Some parents put pressure on their children to follow a certain career path. One that they consider more stable or profitable.
Usually unsolicited advice comes from concerned parents who want the best for the child. This can place an incredible amount of pressure and anxiety on the child, which can be difficult to cope with.
When you are financially independent, hearing your parents' opinions about how you handle money can be frustrating. As an adult, you shouldn't feel obligated to listen to your parents' advice or make excuses for your spending.
Get rid of unwanted advice and gossip about family members
There is a fairly common pattern of behavior among parents who offer their children unsolicited advice on a range of topics: work, relationships or leisure. This may come from good intentions or from their anxiety and mistrust of the adult child's abilities.
However, when a person receives advice they did not ask for, it can be annoying or even painful. An adult may feel as if he is being criticized, treated like a child, or considered incompetent.
Parents sometimes speak poorly or reveal personal information about relatives even when they shouldn't. Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence, especially if the brother or sister did not live up to the parents' expectations. You should have a frank conversation with your parents that you don't like this and don't need to discuss other members of your family.
Build clear boundaries and stand your ground
Like avoidance, uncertainty usually does not bring any benefit. Boundaries that are unclear or confusing can often be misinterpreted. It is better to explain your position as simply as possible, avoiding deviations into other topics during the conversation.
You need to know exactly what you mean when you talk to your parents, because they may not understand something. Therefore, it is helpful to provide specific examples of unacceptable behavior along with alternatives.
Your parents may not always listen to what you say. They may try to get you to loosen your boundaries and continue making harsh remarks.
An effective step is to create some distance in the relationship. Limits will help you meet your physical and emotional needs and protect your personal space.
When you communicate consequences, follow them. This will show your parents that you are committed to strengthening your boundaries. If they want to renew the relationship, they will have to respect these limits.
We all have the right to experience disappointment, anger, frustration, despondency and not ask permission to do so. And we do not make concessions because of pressure on the emotions of others.
Be grateful
Setting your own boundaries in your relationship with your parents is not respectful. Instead, it's important to set your boundaries and expect your parents to respect them.
To achieve greater success faster, try to choose your words carefully when you talk about boundaries. Before talking, analyze your feelings. Clearly defining what's bothering you can help you start the conversation by preparing some possible solutions.
It's normal to feel a little guilty about setting boundaries with your parents. If you know they love you and believe they have good intentions, you probably don't want to hurt their feelings.
Maintaining relationships with parents and family is always worth it, no matter how difficult they may be for us. were. Be grateful and love your parents…
We previously talked about living without anger: learn how to curb negative emotions.