We are taught from a young age how important it is to trust the people around us, such as our partners, family and friends, but does the same apply to our bosses? After all, the average person spends about 90,000 hours at work in their lifetime. And that's a lot of time around someone with whom you may not feel entirely comfortable. How to build a trusting relationship with your boss?
ContentBenefits of trust at work Why might people mistrust you? How to build trust with your boss
Trust is a two-way street. If you don't trust your boss, you may find it difficult to build rapport with him, and if he also doesn't have confidence in you as a person, you may find yourself left out or ignored. WomanEL shares the opinions of two experts on how to restore or strengthen trust if you feel like you don't have it at work.
The benefits of trust at work
“Psychological safety – trusting the people around you – is the foundation of any positive company culture,” explains career coach Emily Button-Lynam. “It's about believing that you can take risks, express your ideas, voice any concerns and make mistakes in your career without serious consequences.”
The benefits of having a trusting boss are undeniable. This can lead to you being seen as more responsible, allowing you to demonstrate additional skills and develop further. They can also advocate for you within the organization. And having a trusting relationship with them means they are more likely to support your development.
The power of open communication should also not be underestimated. “Being able to talk candidly with your boss about problems, ideas and recommendations allows you to help positively shape your work and team,” says Button-Lynam. “This means frustrations are resolved more quickly and reduce stress, giving you a greater sense of purpose and belonging.”
In an ideal situation we would all have a manager who we interact with during work hours and who we can still talk to, but this is not always the reality and personalities can often clash under high pressure. However, to trust your boss, you don't have to like him. “I also don’t think we need to fully and 100% trust them as full human beings unless it impacts the work environment or ability to perform our responsibilities. It really helps if you can fully connect with them on a human level, but I don't think that's necessary for a good, positive working relationship,” she adds.
What could cause mistrust of you?
“If your boss doesn't trust you, try to think about what's causing that skepticism,” says career happiness coach Soma Ghosh. Did you hide a mistake or leave earlier than you should have? Did they receive feedback from another team member that made them doubt your abilities?
However, this may not always be your fault. Sometimes this lack of trust arises from your boss's own insecurities or biases, without considering the impact on other people.
How to build a trusting relationship with your boss
First of all, get an outside opinion. “I recommend talking to someone on your team you trust to understand their point of view,” says Button-Lynam. “Sometimes we make assumptions about behavior and take things personally, but that may not be the case. If this person confirms your suspicions, I always think the best way to deal with this problem is to have an open and honest conversation with your boss.
When you do sit down with him, be sure to share your point of view in a calm manner, giving examples that support his behavior, as well as explaining the impact. Only then can you start talking about what changes you would like to see. It may seem like a scary thing to do, but it should have a positive impact,” she adds.
Another surefire way to gain the trust of managers is to ask them questions and get information from them when you need it, says Ghosh. needed. “Not only will this boost their ego a little, but it will also allow them to see that you are making an effort to develop a strong working relationship,” she explains.
Finally, if you want your position to be taken more seriously Ghosh advises coming up with an idea during an individual or group meeting to demonstrate that you're a team player or capable of thinking outside the box. “If you take on some responsibility, they will not only see how dedicated you are to the position. They may also witness something they may not have expected. And this can help change their opinion of you.”
Do you feel like you are marking time in your career? We shared tips that will help you understand what to do in this case.