Clinical psychologist Mary Ann Little seems to show that fathers are differently assigned to first, middle and last children. And these reactions leave traces – both good and not so good. Little himself recommends the concept of faded fatherlandism. The point is that the key point is the choice of the golden mean – either grace, or established boundaries, or complacency, or fate. In this article, we want to take a look at the nutrition, how to care for an older child.
ContentIt’s not a good idea to insult an older child: don’t say “Great boy” or “Great girl” Avoid the phrases: “Give me a great butt” It’s not a good idea to insult an older child: don’t say “You’re the best” Don’t use the phrase “Speak about your brother and sister”
WomanEL share the expert's thoughts about those phrases that are unique to older children. Believe me, the stench will bring harm to your development.
It’s not a good idea to call an older child: don’t say “Great Boy” or “Great Girl”
- Why is this a problem: dads risk hanging in high places and keep growing at your place.
Apply: “Oh, you are such a great lad. You fit in easily.” “You are such a great girl. You are not to blame for crying through such rubbish.” “You’re a great lad, and great lads don’t get embarrassed through dribble.” “Sit and walk like a big girl.”
Some children are elders for their sisters and brothers, let’s face it, they are entrusted with the role of mother’s and father’s assistant. And if you want to have children before the end of the real world, it’s a miracle, Little, who can help the child become more healthy, can support their self-esteem, which is developing, and their self-esteem i. For example, asking a six-faced child to strengthen and protect her homeland means protecting her wealth. “Phrases that reinforce immediate maturity and over-the-top apology can encourage self-indulgence. And although fathers may want to entice their children with folding tunics until they are young, they may be able to stay on top of their lives.”
What can I say instead: “Now you can read so many words. Well done.” “Wonder at the great success of the learned English language.”
Unique the phrases: “Give me your damn butt”
- Problem: fathers risk getting out of their children more, they can’t really earn money for their life, prepare yourself for failure.
Apply: “Stop hitting your sister, it’s not okay to hit her.” “You can’t miss your dance concert! Your younger brother will be even more embarrassed.” “You’ve got all your broccoli!” You are such a great butt for your brother.”
“Those who stink older do not guarantee the mastery of everyone who stinks. It is not advisable to impose on your children someone who has not yet achieved success. Wanting children to feel the frustration that comes with youthful mastery, unrealistic expectations require molding resistance to frustration and healthy development of the sternum,” says Dr. Little. Asking a child to hand over a butt is another form of daddy’s tricks that they rely on a child, since, obviously, she herself can hardly sit quietly for 30 minutes at a restaurant, not even talking about those in order to demonstrate this newbie to her young one. estri.
What should I say to the deputy: “I won’t allow you to beat your sister. I’ll move you here and check with your sister, and then I’ll turn around and check with you.” “Tell me, why don’t you want to take part in your dance concert? Aja, it seems like you were well-suited to be busy.” “You’ve got all your broccoli!”
It’s not a good idea to insult an older child: don’t say “You’re the best”
- Problem: if you talk about the beginner or the result, the dads will give up instill in the child that she is a child of her own accord with her achievements.
Apply: “You are the best swimmer, which I have ever learned.” “No one can read as well as you.” You are a champion.” “You are special. Ti narodzheniy buti peremozhets.” “We love the survivors.”
Don’t boast, you can still (and do) be cruel because your territorial child painted little babies with her finger. Doctor Little would like the fathers to understand the difference between the father’s joy and the treasures of bringing children to the reach and the children’s knowledge of what the smell is valuable, and what the smell is “most beautiful” or “overwhelming”. This is how you can meet the necessary security of a woman with mad love. Children may know that they love them for what they smell, and not for their achievements. In addition, fathers react more vigorously to the achievements of the first priority – either repeated or walking – that’s what for The pressure is stronger for them. If you go too far with the older child and change the wraps with the younger ones, you can create an image between brothers and sisters, as well as his centrism in the one who takes away more respect.
What can I say instead: “I love you, the one who loves you, and not the one who came first.” “You are so important to me – whether you win or lose.”
Did you know that those who are your brothers and sisters influence your style of inspiration? Here they explained how it is possible.
Do not vikorize the phrase “Speak about your brother and sister”
- Problem: fathers are at risk of winning over their older children and causing dissatisfaction in their homeland.
Apply: “Sit here and cry about your sister. She’s too small to sit here by herself.” “Help your brothers find pajamas. I can’t know her, but I’m dreaming of us.” “Play with it more. It befits you, if you order.”
The problem is, says Dr. Little, that fathers often pressure older children to talk about their brothers and sisters. I want to be able to formulate training and learning skills while growing up, which can also be supernatural and support the development of healthy family dynamics. Older children still pretend to be children, and they cannot be tied down by their fathers, especially their brothers and sisters. Golovne – don’t put the worry in front of the older child that she might talk about her younger brothers and sisters. How they can and want to help – hurray.
What can I say: “Do you have time to help your brothers with their homework?” “I would have loved you if you had helped your brothers to know the olives. Can you make money today?”, “Do you want to paint with your brother sooner rather than later?”
What is the concept of one child syndrome? Are these really his children? Axis what to think expertly.