The holiday season is the most wonderful time of the year, but it can also be the most stressful. The mental burden, or invisible labor, of running a household and managing a family tends to fall on women’s shoulders. And if it’s not obvious, it can have a serious impact not only on the woman who runs the household, but also on the relationship between her and her partner. How to avoid conflict during the holidays?
ContentHow mental stress manifests itself during the holidaysHow to avoid conflicts during the holidays with your partner: talk about itMake a plan for a joint vacationHow to avoid conflicts during the holidays with your partner: set boundaries
WomanEL will share with you tips from psychotherapist Erin Pesch that will save your couple from quarrels and misunderstandings.
How does mental stress manifest itself during the holidays
You can probably already imagine the strain on the psyche that comes with It's time to plan for the holiday season. As Erin Pesch says, everything from stressing about gift money to planning Secret Santa and keeping track of all the holiday invitations can be incredibly overwhelming.
And beyond the financial stress, there’s a lot of pressure on moms to give their families the “best” holiday season. It’s exciting to think you’ve found the perfect gift for your daughter, for example, but there’s also the fear of disappointment if she doesn’t like it. “There’s this intense fear of disappointment: ‘What if I can’t do it? What if I get the wrong thing?’ It’s the worry and anxiety,” says Pesch.
Add to that a dose of seasonal depression, which can affect everyone. As Pesch points out, it affects everyone, but women are four times more likely than men to be diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder, which is definitely not going to help you get through the holidays.
So, if this sounds familiar to you and is causing tension in your relationship, here's what you need to do:
How to Avoid Conflict During the Holidays with partner: talk about it
What’s the point of a partnership if you’re not partners? If you feel like stress is taking its toll on your relationship, tell your partner that you need some support, especially during the holidays. Talk about what stress is, how it’s affecting your relationship, and what you can do to make each other’s lives easier this holiday season.
Is your physical intimacy lacking? We know how to bring back the spark in your relationship, even during the holidays.
Make a plan for a joint vacation
Be sure to mark the days in your calendar when you will relax and laze around together, Source: freepik.com
Once you both agree that the holidays are meant to be spent together, take the time to sit down and make a plan, Pesch advises. “My significant other and I literally set aside time on our calendars to think things through—make a list, buy everything we can in advance, and then mark it off,” she adds. Think about your budget, who you’re buying for, who’s taking care of the gifts, and, of course, family get-togethers.
You’ll find that you have different priorities, and that’s okay. “Write down what’s important to you on the list in order, and each of you should do at least two things that are your partner’s priorities,” she advises.
For example, it could be attending your husband's corporate party that you don't want to go to, or exchanging gifts with your sister-in-law. If it's important to your partner, it should be important to you too.”
How to avoid conflicts during the holidays with your partner: set boundaries
Manage expectations for yourself and everyone else when you're making your plans or even facing the challenges that are bound to happen. Don't be afraid to set boundaries.
You have the right to decline an invitation if you're tired. You can refuse to give gifts to all of your child's teachers if you understand that you cannot afford it financially. Don't get hung up on everything being perfect. The key is to de-stress where and when you can, and don't feel bad about it.
If mental stress is dulling the sparkle of your holidays (or your relationship), don't be afraid to ask your partner for support and give yourself indulgence The holiday season is all about family and friends, celebration and the magic of this time of year; Arguing over chores and gifts is not the best way to spend it.
Want to have fun at home with your partner? You don't have to watch TV all day. Here are some ideas for interesting leisure time.
