Attraction has a spectrum. There are different types and degrees: you may be attracted to someone's looks or their mind; it may be purely physical or wonderfully passionate. Some people can tell the difference. But others have a hard time understanding the difference and will never know whether they have sexual attraction or romantic attraction.
ContentWhat is sexual attraction? What is romantic attraction? Sexual or romantic attraction: which do you have? Is it possible to feel romantic attraction to a person but not sexual?
WomanEL offers to understand these psychological phenomena and will tell you what their features are.
What is sexual attraction?
To better understand what you're feeling, it's important to identify the differences and similarities between sexual and romantic attraction. Source: freepik.com
Sexual attraction is purely physical, based on aesthetics, and based on arousal. It occurs when the sight or image of a person triggers feelings of desire and physical intimacy. Psychotherapist Jennifer Nurick says that this type of attraction often leads to sexual fantasies about touching or being touched by another person.
Signs of sexual attraction:
- Interest in someone’s appearance. Sexual attraction is a physical attraction, that is, a physical interest in another person. “This is one of the foundations for sexual attraction,” says psychologist Aura De Los Santos. The way someone is dressed, how you perceive their appearance (for example, healthy or friendly), and their body odor all affect physical desire.
- Physical reactions. First comes interest in someone's appearance, and second comes physical reaction to it. “Some people report feeling warm around their genitals when they're feeling a strong sexual desire,” says Nurik. This is a signal that the body is preparing for sexual activity.
- Sexual fantasies. Usually, arousal causes a person to have sexual fantasies and visions of what they want.
Feelings of tension and insecurity:
Sexual attraction can be exciting. But arousal can also bring up a host of complex emotions. This is common among people who have experienced rejection in the past, says sex coach Aaron Freysin, and can lead to a person distancing themselves from their desires rather than pursuing them.
“If you study this experience in slow motion,” Freysin explains. You’ll see that before you pull away, there’s a moment of focusing on the other person and wanting them, and then suppressing that desire.
What is romantic attraction?
If sexual attraction is the desire to bridge the physical gap between two people, then Frazin defines romantic attraction as the desire for emotional intimacy between two people, similar to the security between best friends.
“You feel safe when you can express all or most of yourself and be “You feel playful and interesting around this person,” Freysin explains.Signs of Romantic Attraction:
- Seek emotional intimacy. Sexual intimacy is rooted in the physical. But romantic attraction is not based on a person's physical appearance, but on who they are as a person. You will expect a desire for intimacy and a genuine interest in getting to know them on a deeper level.
- The development of love. Nurik says that as you get to know someone and romantic attraction grows and deepens, love develops “in small moments of caring, kindness, and connection.”
- Imagining a future with another person. Physical attraction can be fleeting. But romantic attraction can be long-lasting. Whether you’re in love or on the verge of it, Nurik says that a sure sign of romantic attraction is a desire to create a strong connection. And therefore, a lasting relationship.
Sexual or Romantic Attraction: Which Do You Have?
While sexual and romantic attraction can overlap, they are not the same thing. You can feel sexually attracted to someone but not feel romantically attracted to them, and vice versa. The main difference between the two is which part of them you are attracted to.
When you feel sexual attraction, your body responds with an internal “yes” to the person, explains Nurik. It’s a purely physical desire that doesn’t require emotional intimacy. But when you feel romantic attraction, says Nurik, “your heart tells you that you’ve met someone special.” It’s a desire for an emotionally close, human connection.
Is it possible to feel romantic attraction to a person but not sexual?
Sexual attraction often goes hand in hand with romantic. This physical intimacy can enhance a romantic relationship and contribute to a couple’s overall satisfaction, deepening their bond.
However, it’s possible to feel romantic attraction to someone but not have a sexual component. In this case, Nurik strongly recommends that people in romantic relationships figure out what might be getting in the way of sexual attraction.
“It’s possible to feel romantic attraction to someone, enjoy their company, and feel like they’d make a great life partner, but not feel sexually attracted,” says Nurik. “However, we know from research that couples with an active sex life report greater relationship satisfaction, so in the long run, it’s worth figuring this out with your partner early in the relationship.”
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