Uncertainty, lack of control, lack of answers – these vague unknowns, whether grand or mundane, are natural and perfectly normal catalysts for anxiety. Biology is responsible for the unpleasant feelings we experience during periods of uncertainty, and for the best of intentions, believe it or not. What to do in this case? How to stop worrying about uncertainty?
Content Uncertainty affects everyone, just in different ways How to stop worrying about uncertainty: Identify unproductive experiences (and let them go) Tip 2: Practice mindfulness How to stop worrying about uncertainty: Develop habits and routines to feel like you’re in control Tip 4: Focus on gratitude How to stop worrying about uncertainty: Find humor Tip 6: Don’t rely on temporary distractions How to stop worrying about uncertainty: Accept what you can’t control
As psychologist Amelia Aldao says, anxiety increases our alertness to the world around us and activates our fight-or-flight response in case we need to defend ourselves physically. Feeling anxious when things are uncertain is perfectly normal. But, of course, it's not the most pleasant feeling. And WomanEL will tell you what you can do about it.
Uncertainty affects everyone, just in different ways
Uncertainty makes everyone anxious. But not everyone experiences it to the same extent. Aldao cites research that shows that people with anxiety also tend to have a lower threshold, or tolerance, for dealing with uncertainty. Less anxious people may therefore have a higher threshold for accepting the unknown and managing their reactions to uncertain times.
People with anxiety disorders or those prone to anxiety may find social gatherings intimidating because of the inherent uncertainty of the event. For example, they may ask themselves questions like: Who will be there? What will everyone be wearing? How long will it last? Will I say something embarrassing? Will it be fun? How will we get home?
On the other hand, a person who is less anxious is not bothered by uncertainty. What's the difference? We'll find out when we get there; I'm going with the flow.
On the opposite end of the spectrum are those who revel in the unknown. Their thought process might include: I wonder who will be there! I can’t wait to see what everyone is wearing, and for them to see what I’m wearing! Who knows where we’ll end up and how we’ll get home! It’s exciting, limitless, full of possibilities.
The uncertainty of the aforementioned hypothetical party is enough to trigger anxiety in habitually anxious people. Others, however, need more serious, existential, or risky uncertainties to trigger their anxiety (such as the death of a loved one or getting fired from a job).
No one way of responding is right, they are just different. But Aldao notes a tipping point to watch for: “The problem arises when the magnitude of our anxiety response becomes disproportionate to how uncertain events actually are.”
Yes, anxiety is our natural coping mechanism for dealing with a lack of control and information. But at some point, excessive anxiety about something we can never control or account for becomes useless and even harmful.
Anxiety makes us worry about the future so that we can plan for possible scenarios, Source: freepik.com
How to Stop Worrying About Uncertainty: Identify Unproductive Worries (and Let Them Go)
“Productive experiences usually lead to actions that allow us to take greater control over the situation. While unproductive ones make us feel even more anxious and insecure (leading to a vicious cycle),” explains Aldao.
Based on this, try to determine how productive your experiences are and how unproductive (don't stay up all night thinking about worst-case scenarios). If you can't do anything about it, then it's not your concern.
Note: It's not easy to simply “switch off” from worrying thoughts, especially for someone who is very anxious. However, the very fact that you are taking a step back and realizing what is and is not worth worrying about can be a useful first step.
Tip 2: Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is active and intentional awareness. You can practice mindfulness simply by sitting at the kitchen table eating your lunch. Feel the chair under your butt; appreciate the texture of the food as you chew. Pay attention to the sensation of going from hunger to fullness. It’s not easy, but it’s incredibly effective.
To hone this skill, you can practice mindfulness more formally through meditation. It teaches you to better manage your racing thoughts and remain calm and present when faced with uncertainty.
How to stop worrying about uncertainty: develop habits and routines to feel like you're in control
Everyone’s normal routines are disrupted from time to time, in both large and small ways. But we can create our own routines that give us structure and control on a smaller, more individual scale. There’s no right or wrong routine. But choosing a few things and sticking to them can help more than you think. Aldao suggests taking responsibility for things like getting daily exercise or trying new recipes.
“Habits become automatic and give us a sense of predictability and control,” she says. “Plus, when we complete a task, we feel accomplished. And that motivates us to fight off a bad mood.”
The same thing happens in any moment of uncertainty. Maybe you’ve just ended a relationship and are feeling aimless and confused about the future. Or you’ve moved across the country for a job and don’t know a soul. Not knowing how things will turn out is scary. But having some structure and setting small, achievable goals can be powerful pillars to help you move forward.
“In my practice, I emphasize the importance of creating a schedule of activities (for work and play) and sticking to it as often as possible, even if you don’t feel like it and would rather just lie on the couch,” says Aldao. It’s based on a cognitive behavioral therapy technique called behavioral activation, a scientifically proven approach to treating depression and low mood.
Tip 4: Focus on gratitude
It’s amazing how gratitude can change anxiety. “Finding the positive in a new reality is really important,” says Aldao. “You can’t always know why, how, or when it will happen. But you can change your perspective by acknowledging unexpected positives and being grateful for what you have.”
How to stop worrying about uncertainty: find humor
“Whether it’s a TV show, a funny tweet, or a group chat with friends, humor is largely about the present moment,” says Aldao. “The more we’re in that space, the less our thoughts wander into the future and remind us of how uncertain it is.”
Tip 6: Don’t rely on temporary distractions
It is unhealthy to fill the void left by feelings of uncertainty with escapist behaviors. For example, excessive alcohol or drug use, emotional overeating, or denial of the problem. Denial, or avoidance, is one extreme response (the other being overindulgence).
How to stop worrying about uncertainty: accept what you can't control
This is easier said than done, of course. But acceptance is a big step towards regaining peace of mind. Paradoxically, compulsive information consumption – the desire for certainty – can make things worse. “Recognizing that we can’t control and change everything is very important,” says Aldao. The desire to know and control everything fuels uncertainty. “Seeking information is vital, and following the news is very important. But constantly updating news feeds and social media only increases anxiety.”
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