The topic of whether a man should persistently pursue a woman has been discussed for decades. Some believe that this is a sign of true male strength and perseverance, while others see it as a risk of obsession and loss of dignity. How to find the golden mean? Famous psychologists and experts in the field of relationships answer this question, writes IZ.
What do famous psychologists say?
John Gottman, an American psychologist and expert in family relationships, claims that the basis of successful relationships is reciprocity and respect. In his research, he emphasizes that if a man is overly assertive, ignoring a woman's wishes, this can cause an imbalance in the relationship.
Psychotherapist Esther Pereladds that harmonious relationships are based on mutual interest. She notes that the “game of conquest” can be exciting, but only until it becomes one-sided. If a woman does not respond to a man's efforts, this is a signal to reconsider her actions.
It is important to understand the difference between healthy initiative and excessive intrusiveness. Psychologist Gary Chapman, author of the book “The Five Love Languages”, believes that persistence is wonderful if it comes from a sincere desire to understand a person. However, if attempts to attract a woman's attention do not receive a response, it is worth stopping.
According to Chapman, any relationship requires mutual desire. If a woman demonstrates indifference or openly speaks of a lack of interest, further attempts are not only futile, but can also lower a man's self-esteem.
How to determine whether it is worth continuing?
In order not to fall into the trap of obsession, a man should pay attention to the following aspects:
- Does the woman respond to your actions? If she initiates communication, shows interest, and is happy with your attention, this is a good sign.
- Do you speak the same “love language”? Sometimes misunderstandings arise due to different approaches to expressing feelings.
- Do you feel mutual respect? If a woman appreciates your efforts, this is a sign of healthy interaction.
A modern approach to relationships
Nowadays, gender roles are changing. Women have become more proactive, and this is absolutely normal. The famous psychologist Robert Sternberg, the author of the theory of the love triangle, believes that both men and women should invest equally in relationships. Love, according to him, is equality and partnership.
Advice for men
If you are striving to build a harmonious relationship, use these recommendations:
- Be attentive to signals.If a woman reciprocates, it motivates you to take further action.
- Don't be afraid to be yourself. Authenticity is always valued more than games or imposed patterns of behavior.
- Develop your qualities. Curiosity, kindness, and humor attract much more attention than banal gestures.
- Don't forget to respect her choice. Refusal is also an answer that must be accepted with dignity.
Why is it important to find a balance?
Perseverance is a trait that emphasizes a man's character. But it should be based on mutual respect and the realization that true love does not require coercion.
As Esther Perel says: “Relationships are a dance of two, not a solo of one partner”.
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