In romantic relationships, it is common for one partner to have more power than the other. This is not always a problem, but it can pose certain threats to the stability of the relationship. As IZ reports with reference to Psychologytoday, research shows that the one who has more power is usually less dependent on the relationship and feels more confident. This can lead to such a partner becoming more interested in other people, considering themselves more valuable in the “relationship market.”
A new study by Birnbaum and colleagues shows that feeling power in a relationship increases interest in potential partners. High levels of power can lead to fantasies about and attention to other people. This is not so much due to the power itself, but rather due to an increase in one's sense of self-worth as a partner. Such changes in perception can be a real threat to a relationship if they are not noticed in time.
However, even with significant power differences, relationships can be stable because of the investment in them. Years together, shared secrets, financial resources, and even children can be factors that reduce the risks of power differences. Such investments form a kind of “safety net” that keeps partners together even when one of them has more influence. It can be like balancing on a tightrope: the more investment in the relationship, the stronger it holds.
The issue of power in relationships remains complex and multifaceted. It is important to understand that not only power itself affects their stability, but also how partners perceive their role and importance. Daily joys and joint achievements can compensate for even a significant difference in power, making the relationship stronger. So it is worth paying attention not only to who makes the decisions, but also to how much you invest in your relationship and how important it is to both of you.
As a reminder, we previously wrote about how forgiveness helps increase self-esteem and gain inner resilience.